Lockdown

 I can't do this anymore.

Five weeks in and I've reached my limit. 

I have zero patience, I can't keep going, I can't do this anymore. 

The fights to get on zoom, the fights to get dressed, to clean up, to just LISTEN!

Being home with them any longer is impossible. 

But on the other hand...sending them back to gan…

With numbers so high, with kids who can't get vaccinated, with gannenot who maybe won't (this is speculation, I know much of the staff is vaccinated, I just haven't received an answer about all the staff).

Sending them back to gan to struggle to readjust only to be taken out for the next lockdown, to get stuck in bidud, to get sick?

I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. Between protecting our physical health and maintaining our mental health. 

I do not know what to prioritize and am paralyzed by fear. 

All I know is I can't do this anymore.