Living Through a War

They don’t tell you what it’s like to live through a war. They don’t tell you what it’s like to jump at every noise because you think it’s a siren. They don’t tell you that every time your husband answers the phone to talk in hebrew your heart will stop beating because he could be getting called up to reserve duty. They don’t tell you you will be thrilled to be woken up at 5:30 AM to a text from your cousin serving in Gaza telling you he’s ok. They don’t tell you that the world will condemn you and your people while you huddle in bomb shelters across the country. They don’t tell you the pain you will feel for every soldier who falls. They don’t tell you that with every released name of a fallen solider your first emotion will be relief because it wasn't someone you knew personally. They don’t tell you about the crushing guilt that immediately follows that gut reaction. They don’t tell you about the simultaneous overwhelming pride and crippling fear you will experience every time you see a family member or friend in his army uniform going to protect his people.

Next Monday (July 28) marks four years since I made aliyah. Back then I never thought about living through a war. I was so busy dealing with the regular difficulties of aliyah. I have asked myself many times in the last few days if I had thought of it would it have stopped me from moving here? I always come to the same answer- absolutely not.. By making aliyah I made the choice to participate in Jewish history, instead of watching it from the sidelines of the diaspora. Historically being a Jew has never been easy. We have faced countless nationwide struggles and attacks. We’re Jews, this is how we roll. But we persevere and we fight and we win. We are suffering now. If my people are suffering, there is no place I’d rather be than right here suffering along with them. I pray that our suffering will end soon. I pray that the families of the brothers we've lost over the past month will find comfort. I pray for the day that we will live in peace with our neighbors. And in the meantime, I pray simply for the strength to keep going. Am Yisrael Chai.